Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
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Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
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I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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