so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
