I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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