He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No subtext here. People are naked.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I will be naked everywhere
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
