Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It all started with a game of naked twister.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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