I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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