Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
