and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
