dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
