when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
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