We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
