some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize