did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
