So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
