I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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