u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
