I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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