try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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