Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
