AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
