he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
