Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize