So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
