Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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