we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
