Where did you get a picture of my penis
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
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If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
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Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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