You smell like stripper and shame
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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