i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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