I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I lost the right to judge tonight
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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