I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
