apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
