Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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