I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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