strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We have started to decorate penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize