Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
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I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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