Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
