Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
