And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
