i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
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You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
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His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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