my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
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I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
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WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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