I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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