You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
