just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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