Pants 0. Shit 1.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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