ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
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I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
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How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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