I can tuck mytits in my pants
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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