A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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