bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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