walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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