guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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