I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
