Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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