Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
smell my finger.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
