If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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