dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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