shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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