so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
