haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
