I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
