btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
